Just feels like nothing is going right for me work is getting worse, my life out of work has more downs than ups, I have lost intrest in lots of things.

I dont feel like doing much of anything and I am eating less.

even shoots with models dont seem to be happening

I dont know I guess I just feel like giving up as nothing is working out.

All I do is seem to struggle along and just and only just get by. even money is becoming a problem.


I dont even really know why I am writting this to be honest. maybe I have just finally lost it??

A close female friend use to really help me get throught a lot of things as does a very close and special male friend with out these two people I would have gone trully crazy by now.

But some how It just isnt enough.

I have met two very very special people courtneymac and ekitty who meen the world to me

but there both so far away.


I DO KNOW JUST REALLY DONT. when you where a child life was simple and most of the time you where happy. now it jsut seems you get more and more sad. and the world in general is getting worse.

even a bottle of bourbon really dosent seem to help much anymore.

AND YES BEFORE YOU ASK I HAVE SPOKEN TO PEOPLE ABOUT HOW i FEEL.


SIGH.

JUST WISH i COULD START OVER SOME DAYS.